I Can’t Get My Kid to Listen: Parenting Children with ADHD

Have you been struggling with your child’s ADHD symptoms at home and feel lost, helpless, and defeated? They’re not listening to you at home, they’re struggling in school, and they are always careless and forgetful. It makes you feel frustrated because you don’t know what to do, and in comes the mom guilt. Am I failing them? Am I making the right choices? Am I not doing enough? Am I doing too much?

You’re not alone, so many parents feel this way when their children are struggling. The fact that you are worried about it shows how much you care about meeting their needs. If no one has told you lately, you’re doing an amazing job and your kids are lucky to have you. 

As parents, we can’t fix everything and solve every problem that our children encounter, even when it comes to a diagnosis like ADHD. There are things we can do though to make things easier for them to be successful. The goal is never to ignore or pretend their diagnosis doesn’t exist, but instead find tools for them to manage daily tasks in a way that’s effective for them. Things like establishing routines, setting realistic goals, seeking support from a mental health counselor, and making time for self-care can make a major difference in your and your child’s lives!

What can I do to help my child?

Understand their diagnosis: Doing your own research and seeking professional support as a parent of a child with ADHD will help you understand your child’s diagnosis and be able to support them in the best ways possible. Consider getting a counselor for yourself or even ADHD couples counseling, where a therapist can work with you and your partner together to tackle the unique challenges that come with your child’s diagnosis. By immersing yourself in as much education on the topic as you can, you’ll feel more confident and prepared. 

Establish routines and use visual aids: Create consistent daily routines and designated areas for tasks. Children with ADHD thrive on routines, checklists, and clear expectations. Consider using a whiteboard, a daily planner, or a family calendar to keep them on track. The visual aids will help them stay on track, especially if you let them have a say in it, like choosing their own planner or creating their own color-coding system on a whiteboard. When it comes to tasks that they struggle with, like homework, try having a designated space for them to work on it and use a timer so there is built-in structure. With things like chores, work on having a scheduled time to complete them and a checklist with their tasks. 

Set realistic goals and celebrate them: Since it can be hard for your child to concentrate, remember things, and follow rules, the structure of your expectations needs to give space for what they are capable of managing. Give them small tasks to complete, and then celebrate with them when they accomplish them! Even the simplest things, like remembering to follow directions you’ve given, should be praised. Positive reinforcement will help motivate them and give them the confidence to complete tasks when asked. 

Implement healthy habits: As adults, we know we feel better when we are hydrated, eating well, exercising, and making time for self-care. Our children are the same way! When a child has ADHD, these things can be especially important. Make sure they are moving their body every day, whether that means putting them in a sport or being active at home as a family, like taking walks and playing in the yard together. Let your child pick a new water bottle from Target to motivate them to stay hydrated and work on incorporating well-balanced food choices into their diet. When it comes to self-care, help your child find their interests and set aside time for them each day to spend on the things that they love.

Seek support: It’s ok if your child is struggling and needs professional support. Counseling for teens and children will help them learn effective coping mechanisms, time management strategies, and emotional regulation skills. These are important skills for anyone to learn, but when dealing with other factors like ADHD, it can make a major impact on their ability to manage daily life. You can also reach out to your child’s school counselor, local Facebook groups, or parents in your neighborhood to find support for yourself and your child. You will feel better having the support of parents who understand your struggles, and your children will feel a sense of belonging which can sometimes be difficult when they have ADHD.

Above all else, make space for yourself and practice self-compassion. Parenting is one of the most difficult yet rewarding things you’ll do in your life. It’s ok that this is hard. You’re allowed to feel frustrated, defeated, and exhausted. It doesn’t mean you love your child any less or are less of a parent for feeling that way. Take time for yourself, make sure your own needs are met, and remind yourself that you’ve got this!

At Nurture and Be Therapy Services, serving parents and their children is one of our greatest passions. We have mental health counselors who can help you and your child find the best tools to manage what you’re going through. We serve Georgia, Florida, and Pennsylvania virtually, with office locations in Buford, GA and Peachtree City, GA. Book a consult with us today!